Movie Ruminations

Bullsh*t news of the week: G. I. Joe Retaliation delayed

Originally due to be released on June 29, 2012, less than a month away, Paramount has delayed the film until 2013.  Initially, they stated this was due to a 3D conversion.  That sounded a little bit odd to me.  I just figured it was because the movie was actually as bad as the first one and they decided to dump it somewhere else.  Today, we get news that the film is being delayed to make it as bad as the first one.

It seems that the new film originally killed of Channing Tatum‘s Duke character early in the film.  This was a great move, since Mr. I Can’t Talk Without a Ghetto Accent, brings down or completely destroys any film he’s in.  Thanks to his accidental successes earlier this year, The Vow and 21 Jumpstreet, Paramount is delaying the film to pump up his role.  Yay (sarcasm with straight face).

Basically, they are rebooting a miserable film by keeping part of the misery.  In case you forgot, G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is one of my most hated films of all time.  I couldn’t finish watching it, which is rare.  And Channing Tatum was 90% of the problem. I cannot take that ghetto accent.   I was actually looking forward to Retaliation.  I like The Rock.  I like Bruce Willis.  I was excited.  Instead, we get more Channing Tatum (even his name is stupid).

Paramount, stop this ridiculousness now!  It is not too late!  Screw it.  You won’t stop this foolishness.  And you will not have my money for this film.  I will not see it now.  And I will encourage any one who will listen to avoid this like the plague.  THE BOYCOTT STARTS HERE AND NOW!!!  Just say NO to Tatum!!

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