As King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) searches for the Epirus Bow, the only weapon strong enough to unleash the imprisoned titans, he runs afoul of Theseus (Henry Cavill), a peasant chosen by the gods to stop him.
Directed by Tarsem Singh (The Cell, The Fall), Immortals is not a good movie. Thanks to it’s horrible, hyper stylized production design, it looks like a straight to video title. While there is one super cool scene to be had (Ares steps in when Theseus is about to be killed; you have to see it), the film actually tries to mimic this super cool moment in the ending and wears out it’s welcome.
The biggest problem I had with the film is that I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a straight to video title. None of the special effects were particularly impressive, it mimics the Zack Snyder 300 speed up/slow down effects, and the attempt at creating a huge world just fails miserably as the film just feel small.
Another problem I had was the design. The costumes were just atrocious. I can understand that this is the stylized vision of it’s director, but they are so over the top as to be distracting. There is nothing even remotely realistic here, and I could appreciate that if they weren’t so horrible. They do catch your eye, though, but not in the way I’m sure the director intended.
While the acting wasn’t terribly impressive, it also wasn’t terrible. With the exception of the VERY overrated Mickey Rourke, who doesn’t even seem to bother acting at all. I would say he was phoning it in here, but he didn’t even bother to dial the number. He just talks and looks bored in outlandish costumes that would make Lady Gaga blush.
I think I have wasted enough time contemplating this film and even bothering writing about it. It is not worth the time you would put in watching it. Hell, it’s not worth the time I’ve written about it. It is a horrible film with one very cool scene. That one scene is so cool, though, that it almost makes this movie worth watching. Almost.
And because I care for you, my dear readers, enough to try to keep you from watching this movie, instead of posting the trailer like I normally do, I have posted the cool scene. So you can watch it here and save your dollar at the Redbox. Fair warning: NSFW
Movie * out of ****